My Lola's death anniversary was on the 6th. I miss her so much! Six years have gone by & I still cry like it was yesterday. Anyway, the following was my eulogy that I said at one of her wakes. I wanted to post it on my blog so I wouldn't lose it...
My Lola was an incredible woman. She knew everything that went on within the family even if we tried to keep it a secret from her. Like when our relatives would come to visit from the Philippines, Canada or New Jersey…somehow she would know they were coming. I’m convinced her being hard of hearing was a trick. I think she just pretended that she couldn’t hear us so that she could find things out. She was a very smart woman.
She also had a good memory…even in her old age. There would be times when I would visit her in the hospital and my mom and manong rex would try to tease me and tell me to ask my lola if she remembered me. I would get mad at them and and tell them, ”I don’t need to ask…she knows who I am!”
When she had first started getting sick I remember sitting with her in her room and she started talking to me about her dying and for me not to mourn her too much and to not cry too much because she would be in a better place. She told me she wasn’t scared to die and that it would be better for her so she wouldn’t be suffering. She said she had done everything that she wanted to do and that she was ready to go. Of course my response was, “No Lola, you’re not going yet!” It hurt me to hear her say things about her dying…but at the same time it comforted me. It eased some of the pain because I knew she was ready and at peace with the thought of going to heaven.
Lola was always trying to look out for me…even when she was sick. Everytime her condition would get worse she would remind me that her death was coming soon…then she would start trying to marry me off. She would say, “Why don’t you settle now?” Caught off guard, I would try every excuse I had to try to convince her that that wasn’t ideal at that time, but she would always look at me with a frown on her face and a solution to my excuse. Like I would tell her, “I need to finish school first, Lola” and to my surprise she’d say, “Why? You can still go to school and be married!” Then I’d try the I don’t have money excuse, and suddenly she became my financial planner. She’d ask me how much I was making and how much I had left over after I paid my bills. Sometimes I would exaggerate and add to the amount just to see what she would say…then her eyes would light up and she would say, “Oh, good!” Then she’d start counting with her fingers and say, “Then you can save (this much) in (however) many months.” I would always laugh and she’d look at me so seriously. It was not even a week before she died that she gave me her last “You should now settle” speech. She told me she wanted me to get married already so that she knew I would be taken care of. It’s hard to know that she will not be there when that time does come. But I know she will watch over me and make sure I am taken care of…married or not.
I think what I’m gonna miss most about Lola is how she would tell me that she loved me. When it would be time to leave after visiting her I would tell her that I was going and she’d always tell me thank you for visiting her as if I were a stranger…then I’d tell her I love her and she would smile and her voice would soften and she’d say, “I love you,too!” so sweetly. After she passed away that was the only thing I thought of when I closed my eyes to sleep.
My Lola was and always will be my hero. Her quiet strength and her strong faith in God are just a few of the values that I have learned from her. I believe the reason she lived such a long and full life was because of her strong faith. She would say her prayers in the morning and say the rosary in the evening and then say her prayers before she slept. I remember when I was younger and we were still living in the navy housing…she would put me in bed turn off the lights and then turn on the night light so I wouldn’t be scared. Then she’d kneel next to my bed and pray the rosary. I remember she would recite the rosary in ilocano…and the rosary she had used back then smelled like roses. Luckily I found a rosary that smells just like my lola’s , so everytime I pray the rosary I am reminded of her and that night I stayed up to watch her pray.
Lola, I will always keep my memories of you in a safe place deep in my heart and the values I have learned from you will forever be a part of my life. I love you soo much and I miss you dearly.
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